Re: [Fandfs] Fandfs Digest, Vol 7, Issue 5

On Sep 27, 2010, at 11:23 AM, jessica everingham wrote:

And Sarah has insurance again! i called Molly, who knew that kaiser had reinstated her. Hooray!
Jessica

On Sat, Sep 25, 2010 at 4:08 AM, <fandfs-request@maborgias.com> wrote:

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Today's Topics:

1. Update (Honey Williams)

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Message: 1
Date: Sat, 25 Sep 2010 00:01:45 -0700
From: Honey Williams <honey@honeywilliams.com>
Subject: [Fandfs] Update
To: fandfs@maborgias.com
Message-ID: <66458BF2-9AB1-49EB-A30D-087741A7CFC1@honeywilliams.com">66458BF2-9AB1-49EB-A30D-087741A7CFC1@honeywilliams.com>
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>
>
>
>
> September 22, 2010
> Dear Friends and Family,
>
> In San Francisco, staying with Mary Weingarden and Geoff Hoyle while
> holding vigil for Sarah and her surgery.
>
> And writing now about Cynthia,
> a long overdue update to our family and friends.
>
> Sometimes when Cynthia was having a hard time going to sleep, or if
> she
> was feeling worried, we would think of an enjoyable topic and begin to
> talk about that, leaving behind the worries and woes. One of the most
> engaging topics was plans for her 95 birthday party. These
> conversations
> began sometime in June, and time has passed by with much talk but
> nary a
> birthday plan set into motion.
>
> Cynthia and I came up with the idea of a brunch weekend, with people
> coming Saturday or Sunday to make for a smaller crowd. But while the
> idea of a
> Reunion of the Carmel Institute (as seen at the 90th birthday party)
> is very
> attractive, the truth is, throwing a proper 95th Birthday Party
> requires far
> more strength than we have actually .
>
> Both Molly and Honey have been so distracted this year, what with
> Mothers
> and Daughters and the bad economy etc. that it has been next to
> impossible
> to focus on "work". We have experienced loosing large things that fell
> through the cracks. We have surrendered to the realization that
> there are
> just a lot of things that are just not going to get done.
>
> I digress.
> Back to the birthday party.
> At Molly's suggestion we have decided on a "Virtual Birthday
> Party," and
> we invite all of you to come to the Virtual Birthday Party, by
> making a
> short video and sending it to us, a videos with each of you saying
> Happy Birthday
> to Cynthia and expressing whatever thoughts or feeling you wish to
> share with her.
> Or a group of people may want to make a video together, etc. It is a
> creative
> group, and hopefully we will get many video which we can then put
> together
> and show to Cynthia, who can then watch them over and over, as many
> times
> as she wants to look at them.
>
> Please say your names clearly at the beginning of the video clip, so
> she can
> put the name with the person and get a jump start on triggering her
> memories
> of each of you. And please make the video at least fifteen seconds
> long to allow for
> the triggering mentioned above (and please don't make them too
> long). We
> will show the videos to Cynthia at a small family gathering on her
> birthday, November 1. So, send her your thoughts and prayers,
> recite her a
> poem, sing her a song. Send her your love.
>
> If there is anyone one out there who has experience working with video
> clips and who would be willing to spend a little time on this project,
> please call: Tom Davies 831 625-3607, or e-mail tom@tomdavies.com.
> You can also get in touch with Tom is you need help making your video.
>
> Of course, if you are not up to making a video you could e-mail a
> birthday
> message to Cynthia in care of Molly or Honey. You could e-mail her
> photos,
> appropriate poems etc. And old fashioned birthday cards or letters
> are also
> welcome, and we will integrate them into the final birthday video.
>
> So that is the Birthday Party Plan.
> If you have any questions or suggestions, please contact:
> Honey Williams 831 624-8401 honey@honeywilliams.com
> or
> Molly Williams 831 624-7119 molly@tomdavies.com
>
>
> And Cynthia's current state?
> With time she becomes more and more frail, her strength diminished.
> She is
> more confused more of the time, but can also be remarkably lucid, even
> profound. She still loves to look out ofthe window at the view and
> enjoys
> a ride in the car. She is not in any real pain. Cha-Cha, Anna and
> Eustacia
> are the world's best Caregivers, all of them mellow, cheerful with
> hearts full
> of love. They spend their hours sitting right beside Cynthia,
> totally focused
> on Cynthia. Cha Cha fixes Cynthia delicious snacks throughout the
> day in
> her loosing campaign to fatten Cynthia up. Cynthia is surrounded by
> family
> and friends who love her and she is living in her own home. It could
> not be
> any better, and yet it is just awful.
>
> My heart breaks sometimes when I sit with Cynthia in her confusion;
> her
> frustration so painful to witness. Some days I am unable even to go
> next
> door and sit with her. Molly living in the same house as Cynthia
> goes on
> being our rock.
>
> Looking after Cynthia, as they say, ?takes a village?. And luckily,
> we DO
> have a village. Big thanks are due to Paula Singer who came and
> stayed
> with Cynthia for two weeks when we gallivanted off to our Arica
> Reunion in
> Maui. Thanks also are due to Laura Flanagan who came to lend her
> heart
> and hands in Cynthia's care when Molly and Tom went off to England,
> leaving Honey with the impossible task of being both herself and
> Molly at
> the same time. It was Laura?s arrival that really saved the day and
> made
> the impossible possible. And a big shout out to awesome Cynthia
> Dyer-Bennett for her seemingly never ending stream of post cards.
>
> While we have been exhausted these past ten months with looking
> after CW
> and Sarah, we also worked some good times into our summer. The afore
> mentioned Arica Reunion saved and reenergized out lives. Tom, Molly,
> Sarah
> and Honey went off to Maui for two weeks of meditation, lectures,
> tropical breezes, ocean swimming, and hanging out with old friends and
> new; especially the new. Tom had never been to an Arica Reunion
> before,
> so he had the great pleasure of discovering the transformational
> nature of our reunions.
>
> Molly and Tom went off to England shortly after our return from Maui,
> where they visited with Tom's daughter Jess, husband Tony and
> grandchildren Sam and Ollie. Jack Holmgren , Laura Ramiriz, Susan
> Clifford
> Rayner and Greg Minshall met up with Tom and Molly for a long talked
> about
> ?Castles, Pubs and Gardens Tour?.
>
> Cynthia and Honey were VERY GLAD on Molly's return. It had been a
> hard few
> weeks at the Institute. John and Kathy came down to lend a hand, as
> did
> Sarah and Richard Russell. At some point Cynthia began to say ?When
> is
> Molly coming home?, I want to see Molly?. We would answer her
> questions,
> but she would not remember she had asked the question, nor would she
> remember the answer. And we would go round and round, questions and
> answers. We tried SKYPE, but having Molly in the living room on the
> computer screen in real time, but not really there in the living
> room, was
> not a help. Finally Kathy made her an advent calendar with seven
> little
> windows and photos of Molly behind each door so she would have a
> visual
> representation of the time left before Molly came home.
>
> And from Sarah:
> ?Thank you to everyone for sending me love, and for the support and
> encouragement in all your e-mails. I feel very loved. The surgery
> went
> well. The surgeon was very happy with the outcome. The artery looked
> better than he had expected. They removed most of the first rib on my
> right side, and a portion of the second rib. My hospital stay last a
> little over two days, and was a haze of doctors, nurses, needles,
> medications, visiting friends and short periods of sleep. Home now,
> and
> feeling well cared for and on the mend.?
>
> Post-Op care for Sarah has been very difficult. Leaving the
> hospital was
> very stressful; Sarah had developed an allergic reaction to
> whatever the
> chemical dye is that they apply to your body before surgery to prevent
> infection. She was in agonizing discomfort, itching all over. They
> finally
> consented to give her a Benydryl at one point, but on top of all her
> other
> meds this led to delirium, confusion, tears of frustration, waves of
> tiredness, etc. The pain seems devastating. ?please help me?, she
> says.
> And I think of recent days when Cynthia has been on the living room
> bed,
> plaintifully saying ?help me, help me?, overwhelmed by confusion.
> I have stayed on here on Yerba Buena Island in the San Francisco
> Bay, trying to help Sarah get a handle on what is making her so
> crazy. My
> patience gets tried. Tonight I washed her hair while she took a
> bath. Later
> she sat on the floor in front of my chair while we watched TV and I
> brushed
> out her hair. And there it was, that mother-daughter magic, total
> unity, very
> sweet.
>
> Sarah has wonderful friends. Through them I was able to
> witness the power and the grace of the ?social networking? of the
> younger
> generation. It is pretty interesting to see how they look after
> each other.
> Some of of Sarah?s girlfriends set up a website about Sarah?s
> insurance/financial
> crisis and the response has been, well, mind-blowing. And then in
> the last few
> days, waves of love and support from friends and family who recently
> read an
> update on Sarah?s condition.
> The site her friends created for her can be viewed at:
> https://sites.google.com/site/hopeforsarah/home
>
> Friday night, Sept 24,2010
Just home from the city. Sarah doing well enough today that I felt
like I could
leave the city and come home. And I need to be done with this letter
and send it off.
There were many stories of Cynthia I meant to write about, but not
tonight.
As we are moving on to Saturday and the Artist's Studio Tour, with
Tom doing
a show in Cynthia's front yard. Never a dull moment.

With Blessings,
HW

Below is a CT scan of Sarah. Clots in her arteries very apparent.
You can see where the first and second ribs are fused, leaving not
enough space for the artery.

>

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